"When I was in college, I was approached by a friend about a summer job opportunity selling books door to door for the Southwestern Company. It was an opportunity to earn some extra money, help pay for college and learn some valuable life lessons, so I took him up on the offer.

"At the time, Southwestern was the second largest employer of college kids in the summer. I learned some valuable skills, including how to communicate well, how to overcome objections, how to deal with my emotions, how to run a small business, how to make a sale and close it, and how to make a profit.

"When I graduated college, I took a job with a small regional airline. The job experience was very measured and helped me focus in on what I wanted and didn't want for my career journey. I discovered I didn't want to work by the hour. Also, their management approach used fear to motivate. It helped me find a better way to manage and motivate people. The experience helped me build my own positive approach for managing relationships. Overall, I discovered what you could do and the success you could achieve.

"After three years, I decided I wanted to do something different with my life. My sales manager from the Southwestern Company happened to attend the same church as me. He approached me one night after a Sunday night service and said he had a job opportunity I might be interested in. It was with a custom clothing company named Tom James Company. I've never heard of the company, but I had another friend who I sold books with that worked there.

"I decided after the interview that I would take the position. I had no experience in custom-made men's clothing and only one summer of selling books. Every one of my friends told me I would probably fail. My mother even told me not to take the job.

"One of the things is living with the demands of a very complex business. It seems like selling suits would be very easy, but there are many different facets to the clothing business—many of which are difficult to control. When you’re not in control of things, it is easier to get distracted.

"I have learned to worry about the things I can control. Taking accountability for these things means my clients know I'm always on top of their orders. It's easy to take credit when things go right, but it’s much harder when they go wrong. You have to be able to take the blame.

"I sell a lot of clothing to successful men and women. One time, I was contacted by a very high-level executive who wanted to upgrade his wardrobe. He had been buying suits from a very inexpensive suit company, which basically cheaply sews the pieces together. His boss told him he had a ‘big boy’ job now and that he needed to buy some ‘big boy’ suits.

"I met with him and he picked out four handmade suits, three handmade sport coats, seven pants and a dozen or so shirts. The order came to about $35,000. And while he had a very hard-to-fit physique, that was not his biggest problem. The biggest was the difference he had been paying for a suit, which typically ran him around $300. We have different price points for our suits, but he bought our $5000 suit.

"A handmade suit has puckers in it. Think of it as brushstrokes on the canvas of a painting by Michelangelo. Less expensive made suits do not have this. They are basically glued together with a piece of felt attached to the cloth by heated glue. When the clothes came in, he did not like the puckers and nuances of a custom-made suit. He did not understand it.

"It was one of the few times in my career I had someone who was dissatisfied. Because he was not happy, I decided to refund him the entire purchase price. That decision cost me personally thousands of dollars—a loss that hit my P&L. It took me six months to dig out of the hole.

"But I felt it was the right thing to do—to save my good name and our company’s good name. All he could ever say was that the experience didn't work out for him. I have run my business by the principle of doing to others as I would have them do to me. It has been an important principle to live by.

What was toughest part of all of this?

"When I contacted my CFO about the situation and asked him what he would do, he said the service principle is the same for one suit as it is for 20. We give the money back.

"I have always remembered that, which is why I am never ashamed to tell this story. I want people to feel good about every business experience they enter into with me. And so while it cost me around $10,000, it was my reputation on the line.  

"As I understand it, these are the three questions a person must answer early on to be successful in life. I did not create these questions; I just answered them. For the first question—who am I—I sat down and wrote for several hours on a legal pad. I wanted to be a good person, husband, father, friend, businessperson, Christian, American, etc. And then I condensed it to about 3/4 of a page.

"The next question was why do I exist? Why am I here? What life experiences have brought me to this place? What am I to do with it? I started to write along those lines, eventually getting everything onto one page.

"For the third question, which I think is very important, I tackled why I believe in God. It seems to me there are only two major thought processes on this subject: You either believe or you don’t. Either one has a worldview.

Where did you turn for answers?

"As I mentioned before, I sat down for hours and wrote copious notes in regard to who I wanted to be, what I wanted to become, and who I was. I did not write down that I wanted to have this, that, or the other thing; it was not about material things, it was about character. I was more interested in who I was and the person I was going to be. I believed those things would come to me in due time. And they have. That forced me to put more emphasis on my goal notebook.

"It’s easy to find a problem. It’s hard to find a solution. I try to begin, as Stephen Covey says, with the end in mind. What is the end result I want and then backtrack? I find it is easier to go to the end of a maze and work my way back to where I am.

"It also is important to surround yourself with people who can find the answers. Everyone is my superior in some way, so I try to be a sponge. And while I come up with my own ideas, I like to draw from the resources available to me. I don’t think you always have to try to reinvent the wheel. Certainly, there are things that change. Adaptation and resourcefulness are also very important.

"I try to break problems down to the lowest common denominator, and then figure out what I want to achieve and what I need to do. It is important not to get distracted with complex problems, but to break them down. An ant can eat an elephant with enough time. The amount of time is always going to be an issue, so if you take one bite, you can handle just about anything.

"Many times, problems seemingly come out of nowhere and seem insurmountable. But if you can break them down, you can handle them one at a time. I’ve used this in selling, too. When there’s an objection, I try to break it down to individual objections, rather than one big objection. People will make a big decision by making very small ones, which eventually lead to a big decision.

"I think you learn through your own experiences and the experiences of others. Failures are what teach us the most important life lessons. Success never teaches us much, but failures teach us to try harder—to do better.

"If I could do anything differently, I would learn to control my emotions better. I would start each day with a gratitude list—10 things I’m grateful for. It’s often impossible to be grateful, but you need to be grateful for someone and some thing. I think having an attitude of gratitude greatly improves your emotional state of mind each day.

"There are three things people need to do in order to be successful in any business. They need to decide what they want to do; they need to count the cost of what it takes to do it; and they need to determine if they are willing to pay the price.

"I think most people don't count the cost; they don't determine they're willing to pay the price. Mostly, they don't decide anything. That's the main reason they struggle—they haven't really decided to take action. They just have an inclination they'd like to be successful at something, but actionable decision is paramount.

"You can't please everyone. Track and measure the progress of the actions you take, which will give you the stats you need to know what's most successful. Then do more of those things. Be willing to adapt and change. Don't try to reinvent the wheel. Be teachable and coachable. Be honest with yourself and others. Take responsibility and accountability. Don't blame others. Be quick to take blame and quick to give credit.

"There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who find an excuse and those who don’t. It doesn’t take any gumption to make an excuse, but most people do. It takes a person of character to find a way over, through under or around any obstacle. Be the person who finds a way.

"Realize that no one likes rejection. No one likes to hear the word "no." Every challenge makes us stronger, so embrace the challenge and understand that what gets measured gets done. Track and measure the things that can be tracked and measured. It is by doing that you can improve.

"When you improve, challenges are easier to overcome. I don't see the challenge as so much of an obstacle, but more of an opportunity for growth—personal and professional. Problems are a part of life. Businesses pay people to solve problems, so if you want to make a lot of money, you need to pray for a lot of problems.

"Anyone can point out a problem, so try and be a solution person. Remember, you will be the same person you are five years from now if you don’t meet new people and read. Find the people who are doing well in the areas you may be struggling with and learn from them. Most successful people are more than willing to help someone else be successful when they show initiative.

"One comes to mind. In the past, our business has been predicated on going out and seeing clients in their homes and offices. Men and women bought professional clothing to make favorable presentations on the people they meet. COVID changed all of that. Businesses shut down. The government quarantines us in our homes.

"When things reopened, there were protracted delays for deliveries of clothes. It seemed like our entire business model was completely shut down. My son Matthew and I were working together at the time as partners. We sat down and thought the problem through. We decided to turn to the internet. Somewhere, somebody needed a suit. And we found them—one by one.

"For the next two months, we sold more than $100,000 of clothes online. We never met the people who bought them. Custom clothing is unique. You have to measure people in person. To satisfy their demand, I taught their spouses, friends, etc., how to measure clients over Zoom calls. It was unprecedented.

"I have taught many people over the years, so I used those skills to teach these clients and associates to do the same thing. It worked like a charm. Soon, we were delivering the clothes with no alterations. All of this had to be done by thinking outside of the box. We had to digitize our clothing lines. It took hours to perfect our presentations—mostly by trial and error. It was a completely different way of approaching our business.

"But, as I mentioned before, we began with the end in mind. We needed to add customers. We needed to sell clothing. We needed to be able to do it within the parameters we were given. We could either sulk or do something about it. We chose to do something.

"I say you follow your instincts. We learn from past experiences. All those experiences stack up and give you insights into the path you're following. Sometimes, you don't know how it's going to go, but it is important not to lose sight of that if you want to be successful. How you get to that success may be different than when you first set out, but never lose sight of where you want to be in the end.

"I have achieved most of the success you can achieve in the industry I am in. I am well respected by my clients and colleagues. My competition thinks well of me, too. I do not believe I am different from anyone else. I don't think I'm the smartest person in the room, but I think I'm smart enough. I don't think I'm the most confident person, but I'm confident enough.

"I believe that anyone who has character, ambition, and talent can do what they want to do. Decide. Commit. Act.

"I also believe mentors are important. I have had several very good mentors in my life at specific times—each of whom helped me grow and develop, and become who I am today. I get enjoyment in the act of helping others do the same. Pay it forward, so to speak.